"if you love someone and you break up, where does the love go?"

-carrie, sex & the city

clearly satc is fictional (and at times super cheesy), but there are (and will always be) lines of gold in there that my friends and i often reference in our own real life situations today.

lately i've been obsessed with this korean show called "running man."  it's a reality show where the cast  members + special celebrity guests every episode go through "missions" and play games to win a race.  what i like most about it are the group's dynamics.  the cast members are all distinctly different from each other but you can see their genuine chemistry.  not only that but they are absolutely hysterical and my abs honestly get sore from laughing so much.  comic relief at its best.

within the cast of "running man" is kim jong kook, nicknamed "mr capable" on the show.  to sum him up in a nutshell, he was part of Turbo, a successful singing duo back in the 90's.  since then he went solo but lately has gained more fans being on reality shows, including "running man."  he's always been super athletic and in great shape (almost 40 now but has a ripped body).  on the show, he's unanimously feared by other cast members as the biggest threat, leads the group when needed to step up to the plate, but also yells relentlessly at everyone with a hot headed temper.  that being said, he does have his moments (in front of pretty girl celebrity guests in particular) where he shows a softer, more gentleman-like side and it seems natural/genuine.  to me he's likable: i respect him as a singer, admire his discipline in his healthy lifestyle, but seems impatient, a bit kiddish, and someone who would do anything (for better or worse) for his own gain. being in a relationship with a man like that seems tiring to me..

i recently saw an interview that he did last year and in it he said something interesting that stuck with me.  he said even (if) in a serious relationship with someone, he will not tell her that he loves her, until the day he proposes.

i can't say that this surprises me about kim jong kook, but i definitely disagree.

i wholeheartedly loved my ex boyfriends, and said it often.  

but i don't love them today.  we are all different versions of ourselves than we were back then.

and life goes on-

for kim jong kook to say that he won't tell a girl that he loves her until he decides to propose is a view that i understand, but feel like it's the ultimate defensive move.  one could never fully be prepared to fall genuinely in love.  

to love freely and risk heartache, or to protect yourself until you're 100% certain.. 

i will love

freely.