my rock.

found a picture of my mom (and me) while unpacking some boxes and i started thinking about her - not as a mother but as a person, an individual.  

the youngest of four and the only girl, one who lost her own mother her first year of college.

a woman who in this picture is the same age that i am today

i think about the sacrifices that she made in her life and the ways in which they bettered mine.  

i know God exists because He gave me a mother who told me that in her youth she once thought that dying young and beautiful wouldn't be all that bad.  to think of her in this light, that she once thought that was hard for me to swallow at first, but the older i get i understand her more, and it makes me appreciate the woman she is and came to be on a different level.  she is the best mother that i could've ever asked for.  and i will always be grateful.

9 years, 9 neighborhoods

in the last 6 months i've gone through a decent amount of changes in my life: started a new job, said goodbye to a two year relationship, and moved into a different neighborhood.

in the 9 years i've been in nyc, i've lived in 9 different neighborhoods:

(in chronological order):

east village

chinatown

lower east side 

financial district

murray hill

astoria

union square

upper east

and now,

upper west.

there are times i find myself in one of the "older" neighborhoods and can't help but think about the same
faded
memories

some more recent than others,
they all linger, one way or another-
the person i was then, significant others, where i was in my life,
milestones.

my memories in the 9 years spent here, both old & new take place within a span that's only 13 miles long x 2 miles wide
it's funny how big and small the city can feel at the same time

with summer slowly winding down, i'm excited for these changes to become a little more stable

life is always about transitions
and timing.

hello august

the funny thing about a blog is that you re-read your own thoughts as they came to you then

my last blog's header was "young & free in nyc" and that's really a motto i lived up to
but for some reason it doesn't seem appropriate this time around
i think about where i was in my life when i started that blog, where i was in my life as i blogged in it often
the things that happened as i drifted away from it, and the things that have happened since i last wrote in it.

i'm glad those posts are still there, somewhere
but i don't want to keep going with that blog anymore
that chapter's closed.

all i ever do these days is read and re-read over and over things that i've stored, saved, starred.
things that
remain

& it feels heavy every once in a while
blogging then was therapeutic,
maybe it'll be the same this time around

so here's to a new blog
a place to pour my thoughts
as i enter this new chapter.

dear august, please be good to me.
you were always my favorite.